Usagi Publishings
by Bad-with-usernames
Summary: Usami is an unkind CEO of a publishing company with trust issues and Misaki has been hired as his young, kind and innocent secretary. Two complete opposites could never get along outside of work. Could they? (2nd fic, lemons to come later on)
1. Chapter 1

**This is the second story I've written now (woo hoo!) I remember reading a one-shot AU called** **New Year's Eve party** **by** **hollowfreak** **where Usami is the CEO of a major company and Misaki is is secretary. I really loved it and wished it was a multi chapter fic because it was so good I felt like I wanted to read it in more detail but I couldn't find another fic like this one.**

 **So I want to write a fic with this idea in mind but making the plot a little different and a little longer. I just cant help but feel like I'm taking the writers idea though (because I procrastinate) so if you haven't read it I seriously recommend it. Like...SERIOUSLY!**

 **Your critique is highly welcome so I can improve my writing a lot more but I don't do well with negativity (I'm really sensitive.)**

 **Lemons will be in later chapters. Sorry for anyone who clicked on this fic expecting one right off the bat XD.**

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Usami POV

Distrustful. I've been called this so many times that I now use this word, and this word alone to describe myself. Distrustful.

I do not describe myself as this due to the culpability of others, but because this distasteful word describes me in the most perfect way… I'm to blame for describing my own self so negatively.

But is it my fault I have no trust in others? No.

Born and raised from a wealthy family and being the CEO of one of the biggest publishing companies in Japan brings unwanted attention from the wrong types of people. No one would blame me for not wanting to let people in, knowing all they wanted was money. It was clear that if it wasn't for my wealth, they wouldn't give me a second glance.

For this reason alone, the only way anyone would know a thing about me would be through pages and pages of fiction, filled with thoughts of my loneliness and heartbreak. Some say its poetic. Others say it's 'beautifully upsetting'. However my books are not poetic nor beautiful… they're a cry for help. I've become so depressed and distrusting that I push people away and, as a result, a burning sense of longing lingers through my very being. The longing for someone to trust. The longing for someone to love. The longing, for just that one person, that I can confidently open up to and allow them to witness my inner demons.

Looking out of the floor to ceiling window, I see a thin blanket of snow form on top of the streets of Tokyo with people rushing around in the early hours of the morning to get to places. with a content sigh. I turn around to get back to signing reports and letting my inner thoughts get lost in my work.

To say that I have never put my trust and faith in anybody would be wrong. There was one I trusted and let in a long time ago. I fell in love with him the more I was with him. He understood me and stayed by my side for me, not my money. I loved him so much that I confessed to him out of the blue one day, only to have it thrown in my face. He told me I disgusted him. That the thought of a man loving another man was wrong. He never spoke a word to me ever since. That was two years ago.

This was the start of my downfall. After finally finding someone I trusted only for them to suddenly turn on me made me become a horrible being. I wanted nothing more but to lock myself away from everyone and push away anyone who came close at a moments notice. But after all this time having no one to trust tore me apart inside. I tried letting people in, but it all failed after I knew the kind of person they were. Those full of greed and selfishness only wanted one thing. Money.

So, here I am. Sitting alone in my office. Usually, a CEO would have a secretary with them or an assistant and I did take someone on board from time to time. Sadly, I didn't trust them enough to stay beside me for long. I couldn't even trust those in my own company. So after all this lack of distrust, after all the lies, all the greed and all the betrayal. I treated people with disrespect and made sure they knew that I didn't want them near me.

What riled me up even more was knowing that the company, MY company, went behind my back and hired a new secretary before I let my empire fall. I knew that not having an organised itinerary and keeping track of my own tasks and meetings would become a hindrance but I did NOT want to be betrayed by another person again. Being so close to my breaking point, I don't think I could take any more betrayal than I already have.

What I plan to do is, when this new employee comes along, I will make sure they hate their job so much that they will never want to work another day in their lives let alone as my secretary. The only time I heard about this new arrival to the company was 20 minutes ago. Their application and resume left on my desk, along with the reasons for the acceptance of their application from Human Resources. The only thing I looked at was the job title. Not bothering to look at the rest, I shoved it in the back of the filing cabinet, knowing I wouldn't be needing it after they quit.

After finishing the reports left on my desk, I look at the clock to see that it was nearing 11. I knew I had a meeting scheduled for 12 so I just spun my office chair around to look out the window again. The snow stopped.

After getting lost in my thoughts once more, I heard a knock on the door. I sighed disapprovingly and told the unwanted visitor to come in, not bothering to turn around and look at them. I recognised the voice as one of the receptionists who actually had the courage to even speak to me through the intercom, however she had not once stepped into my office to speak to me directly.

"Usami-sama," she spoke in a quiet voice. "I w-would like to introduce you to your new secretary."

Shit. Now I have this person to deal with. I turned around in my chair unenthusiastically only to widen my eyes and gaze at this beautiful, young male in front of me. Most people around me would, as you would say "dress to impress" but this boy was quite the opposite. Unlike other secretaries who wore a neatly pressed suit and tie, he wore a pair of black skinny jeans and a light green hoodie. He had messy, wild chestnut hair and had the most beautiful emerald eyes I had ever seen.

With an adorable blush on his face, he bowed and spoke in a voice that almost made me harden at the mere sound of it.

"Please to meet you sir. I am Takahashi Misaki."

* * *

 **Okay, I tried to drag that on as much as I can to make it longer but its still a little short.**

 **I would love to know what your thoughts are and if there is anything you want me to write about in the story at some point please tell me. I would really appreciate it :)**

 **Thank you for** **reading xx**


	2. Chapter 2

**this was a hard chapter to write. Really hard to write...it took me a while to change the style of writing to match Misaki's personality. it was difficult to change the atmosphere a little from loneliness and isolation to youthful yet anxious but I think I was able to pull it off.**

 **If you haven't noticed or have just started reading this story, I've been changing my authors notes a lot to try and become a little more...positive... in what I'm saying because, reading them back I can tell I'm beating myself up a little. But I will be getting rid of them when I complete the story so who cares! XD.**

 **Anyway, hope you enjoy this chapter!**

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Misaki POV

' _He's staring at me...definitely staring at me.'_

It seemed all Usami was doing was studying me since he looked away from the window behind him. Have I done something wrong? How could I have done something wrong when the only thing I have done is introduce myself?

Since Usami Akihiko, my new boss, has not stopped staring at me from the minute he turned around in his chair, I cant help but feel like I've already done something wrong. I guess I'm just felling anxious for my first day of working here.

My sister in-law, Minami-san, helped me find a job in Usagi publishings. She works here as an assistant for one of her best friends who is an editor for fiction novels. She started working for her ever since Mahiro started going to school. Nii-chan cried the day his son started and wined about how he was 'growing up so fast. He acted like Mahiro was going to a boarding school out of the country or something.

Nii-chan was always like that. Be it family or friend's, he would always go through huge lengths to celebrate or cry over others' achievements and goals. He cried for hours when I told him I got accepted into M-university to study economics.

There has only been one time in his life, around two years ago, that he didn't seem to praise and celebrate one person in particular for getting another reward for a book he published. His best friend 'Usagi-san'

I read by chance in a magazine that Usagi-san won another award for one of his best selling novels.

It wasn't uncommon for this man to win awards for his work and every time Nii-chan found out, he would always put so much effort into celebrating him.

However, this time, all nii-chan did was yell at me to never talk about him again when I told him. That day he just came back from visiting Usagi-san so it was obvious they got into a fight or something to make him say that.

I thought it was a little strange for nii-chan to suddenly yell at me like that but I figured it was just a quarrel between friends. That they would soon forget about it in a day or two.

They didn't.

So, of course, when I told nii-chan about my new job he wasn't very happy about it. In fact, he tried to convince me to stay away from Usagi Publishings in general.

It was strange that he didn't want me anywhere near the company but he was perfectly fine with Minami working there. When I asked him why he was so against it, he would never give me a straightforward answer.

The whole reason he doesn't want me working here, is because the person in front of me. Usami Akihiko...is Usagi-san.

I never met Usagi-san in person but he's well known in the media so of course I knew what he looked like.

Standing in front of the man himself made one thing painfully clear to me. The cameras did nothing to show how ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL he was.

What looked like ash blonde hair and dark coloured eyes on screen turned out to be magnificent solver locks that looked soft since he didn't seem to style it with gel. And his eyes. It was almost as if different shades of purple were dancing around his pupil, making his irises seem as if it was a lilac fire.

All in all, this man was gorgeous.

I was interrupted by my thoughts when I heard Usagi-san smirk. It was obvious I was staring at him for a long time for him to notice and instantly felt my cheeks heat up. I looked away in embarrassment but could feel those fiery eyes still locked on me.

"It's nice to meet you Takahashi-kun" I almost shivered at the way he spoke. His voice was husky yet smooth and all wanted was to hear that voice every minute of the day.

He finally cast his gaze to the (completely forgotten about) receptionist beside me and angled his chin up a little. A silent indicter to leave. The receptionist did so with a small bow and hurriedly walked out the door.

"So, Takahashi..." he paused to stand and lean over his desk a little, getting a bit too close for comfort. "What makes you think you are capable to work for someone as my secretary when others before you have failed to even last a week."

I'm certain he's testing me. Trying to see if I could come up with a suitable answer or not. I know I should have just answered the question but I couldn't help say what was in my mind when he asked.

"Ahh, sir? Excuse me for asking this but, haven't you been informed of my situation? Why I am working for you as your 'right hand man'" That seemed to throw him off a little. I laughed nervously.

' _shit, why did I say that. I should have just answered'_

He looked like he was contemplating something for a moment but didn't say anything. Instead he looked at the time and sighed disappointingly.

"It is time for my meeting with the editor of my novels. You can keep yourself busy by reading some of the reports I need to sign and summarising them..." he pointed to a large pile or files on his desk.

"make yourself comfortable on my chair and we can talk more when I come back."

Before I sat down on Usami's chair I watched him bend down to the bottom drawer of a filing cabinet and pull out a file.

The file looked like it was just thrown in the back of the cabinet, as if he thought it was unimportant. He walked to the door and turned around to look at me after he opened it.

"I'll hopefully be a little while so you wont have to wait long." Usagi said with an uninterested look.

"Good luck in your meeting Usami-sama" I smiled at him. He looked at me a little more then left without another word.

There was something odd about Usagi that I noticed. He didn't strike me as the type of person who was harsh like other employees said he was at my interview. He seemed to be both confident and quiet at the same time.

There was one thing I noticed that, if he wasn't leaning over the desk, I would have missed. Since his face was only inches apart from mine I noticed the feint smell of alcohol on his breath. It was feint but I was there, as if he was drinking in the early hours of the morning. It made me wonder if...

' _Ahh I'm letting my mind wander again!'_ I got into work mode and picked up a file that I had to summarise. Still thinking of what Usami-san is like beneath the surface.

Usami Akihiko, Who are you?

* * *

 **To the people that noticed that line I put near the end, yes, Usagi-san has developed an alcohol** **addiction. Its something I put in cause I could write more with a sub-topic like alcoholism** **so...yeah! XP**

 **If you have any ideas on things I could add to this story please tell me. Suggestions are gratefully appreciated!**

 **Thanks for reading! xx**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello! I'm trying to compete chapters really fast now since my prelim's (mock exams) are coming up so I wont be able to write for at least 4 weeks and I need to fill out my application for college so ill be a little busy. (I guess that means I'm on hiatus?)**

 **I've been trying to com up with ways to make Usagi's dialect a little more mature but i find it hard since I have the mind of a child XD**

 **I will try to update during this time but knowing me I will be too lazy and tired to do anything other than sleeping off the stress of studying.**

 **I want to say thank you to** **Dorito** **for coming up with some good suggestions. They were really helpful so I think I will be able to write a lot more in later chapters.**

* * *

Usami POV

"SENSEI! We're in the middle of a meeting. Would. You. Pay. ATTENTION!"

Aikawa's voice was getting more and more exasperating. She would not shut up. We were in the middle of discussing the details for one of my upcoming book signings and going over ideas for my next novel. But my mind was focusing on something completely different at this point.

All I could think about was the cute little brunette who has been left in my office for the past TWO hours now.

I completely gave up on any discussion relating to my novels and focused on the recently discarded file laying open in front of me. This alone made Aikawa go insane but this was undoubtedly more important.

I had to know more about Takahashi Misaki.

In all my life, I have never felt the desire to trust someone so quickly. This young man was without a doubt, so open and honest. All his thoughts and emotions shown clearly in his simply beautiful expressions.

But I cant be easily fooled. I will not be betrayed or left behind by anyone ever again, and certainly not by someone I don't even know yet.

It seemed the company hired him to work under me for experience purposes. The kid wanted to be an editor and experienced this field of work at a part-time placement at Marukawa Publishings. The report from Human Resources made it clear that working as my secretary, in their opinion, would help him experience what it's like to assist an author.

It also states that, considering I am incapable of keeping professional and well trained secretaries for long periods of time, they took it upon themselves to hire someone with little experience in this field.

"Sensei, will you PLEASE concentrate on you work instead of...what are you doing anyway?"

I had the tendency to keep Aikawa out of my business but it seemed like everyone in the company knew about my new employee before I did. So it seemed to be in my best interest to get her input on the new hire.

"Aikawa, have you been informed about my secretary that started working here today?" when I asked her face lit up.

"Ah yes, I heard of him! I spoke to him a little after his interview. He is so cu-" she stopped speaking once she noticed I was glaring at her.

"and you didn't think to inform me about him the minute you heard?" I was pissed that she kept this from me but my expression softened once I saw that guilty look plastered on her face.

"I'm sorry sensei but no one wanted to let you know until Takahashi started working here. You would definitely do everything in your power to prevent him getting this job and you obviously need him." I gave her a skeptical look at that statement. How do I need him?

"Come on. You've gone over a year without hiring someone and look where its led you. Getting about two hours of sleep a night, making sure your up to date with all your work. And your still failing to meet your deadlines!"

I couldn't argue with her there. I spend soo much time working and doing nothing else that I have been hospitalised about 5 times over the past year for various reasons regarding my state of health. Whether it's lack of eating, sleeping or other reasons, I'm on the verge of dying at a young age if I don't get rid of my work addiction.

"I'm reading his file. It seems he was hired to gain more experience and keep an eye on me at the same time. Al in all I have to teach him some things before he is capable to work and, unfortunately, I don't have the time for that."

Aikawa looked as if she was contemplating something in that little yaoi-fangirl mind of hers.

"You say that, but it doesn't seem like your going to let him go any time soon" Observant as usual.

"he's...different" Aikawa squealed loudly at that answer. She grabbed my arm and dragged me out of the door to what I'm presuming would be back to my office.

* * *

It was highly amusing to see that Misaki didn't notice us when we got into the office. He was in full concentration, reading the reports I gave him then scribbling down notes on paper. It was surprising to see that, within the space of two hours, he already went through the entire pile.

' _He's a fast worker.'_

I cleared my throat to get his attention and watched in mild amusement as a light blush formed on his cheeks when he stood up to greet us.

"Usami-sama, I hope your meeting went well." there was that smile again. He smiled at me when I was leaving for my meeting and that was all I could think about until Aikawa hit me over the head with a rolled up document. That might explain why the meeting took longer than expected.

I nodded while smiling down at that cute little face of his. All I was thinking about in that moment was how much of an open book he was. His beautiful emerald eyes would manifest such vivid emotions and his bright smile would lighten the room with it's brilliance.

I knew I was staring at him for too long when he started to blush with embarrassment. Oh that blush was almost criminal. Starting as a light rosy hue on his cheeks and watching it deepen into a deep scarlet that would spread to even the tips of his elfish ears. It was more than satisfying to watch.

I vaguely registered a small snicker and turned to see Aikawa looking at me with a smug grin on her face. I glared at her. Why was she looking at me like that?

"Usami-sama, are you okay?" I looked over at Misaki to see that he was looking at me with mild concern in his eyes. This boy was just too precious.

"Yes I'm fine, Takahashi-kun" I took a step towards him and was happy to see his blush deepen because of our close proximity.

There was no doubt about it. Misaki was too innocent to cause me any pain like the others did. The only concern I have now is how limited his time could be working for me. He WAS just here for experience. It was clear that he would leave me one day for a job in editing. I didn't want that.

I snapped out of my thoughts when Aikawa cleared her throat loud enough to make Misaki visibly jump. He stepped away from the desk with his head down while I sat down in my chair.

"It's so great to see that you got the job Takahashi-kun, I hope Usami-sensei wont be too hard on you."

I glared at her for that. She was trying to tease me. However, I did have to give her credit, she was the only one who had the guts to do so.

"Ahh, I'll be fine. What was worrying though was that the receptionists were betting how long I would last. The longest bet was only a month"

Heh, if those bitches think I'm going to let go of Misaki after only a month, they are gravely mistaken.

"Don't take it personally. It's just most secretaries haven't lasted as long as that." Misaki started to look a little anxious and it was making me agitated.

"Like the last secretary sensei had. He-"

"Aikawa..." I cut her off. "Could you leave me and Misaki alone for now. We can discuss the book signing on a later date.

I was hinting for her to leave only be alone with Misaki. She smirked a little while walking to the door before stopping abruptly and turning back around.

"Oh, Takahashi-kun? What are your thoughts on sweet food's?" at that question Misaki's face lit up. The amount of innocence he possessed was just to admirable. Aikawa told him that she would get some sweets for him at a café some time then walked out the door with a wave.

I looked down at the papers that were on my desk. I was surprised to see that Misaki summarised each report and even wrote separately the reports I had to sign. Each segment of information started off with a number and notices that he numbered each report. This alone would cut my workload by about 2 hours.

"Uhh, Usami-sama?" I looked up to see Misaki fidget a little with a look of embarrassment on his face. So cute.

"Well, I want to apologise for taking up so much of your time."...what? "It's just that, I don't have any experience with this so... I'm sorry if I burden you since you would have to take up your time showing me how to do certain tasks. I'm really sorry if I'm just a bother"

That alone left me speechless. This kind hearted, sweet kid was apologising for something so insignificant that it really wasn't anything to apologise for. What made it more shocking was the way he said it. It was as if he did something so terrible, speaking so wholeheartedly about being a burden. It almost hurt to see that guilty expression on his face.

"Takahashi..." When he finally met my eyes, I was struck with the desire to embrace him and hold him tightly in my arms to get rid of that sadness he was feeling.

"while it may be true that I don't have time for this kind of thing, I would make that time and so much more if it was you. Burden me as much as you like. Take up all the time I have for yourself. Just know that I would never give my time and attention to anyone else but you."

I took a deep breath after I said that. It was the first time I implicitly told someone I wanted to be with them. I wanted him to stay by my side. I wanted him in my life. I wanted...him…

I felt my heart beating faster and faster at that thought. Thoughts of Misaki came flooding in to the darkest parts of my inner subconscious, filling them with light and hope. I was letting him in too quickly. He was breaking my walls down too easily.

Was it okay for me to let someone in?

Looking at him once again, I could see the blush spread rapidly across his cheeks. He was looking at me with wide eyes, obviously shocked at my words.

Yes, if I were to let anyone in, it would definitely be this young man.

Takahashi Misaki, you will be mine.

* * *

 **Welp! There's the third chapter, that I posted a day after the second chapter… is that a bit too soon?…..nah it's fine.**

 **Please tell me what you think of this chapter! I don't know my thoughts on it really...I think it's okay?**

 **Your suggestions and criticism(nice criticism) is welcome. It helps me a lot and I like to hear peoples thoughts on the story, and I'm sorry that there's still a long wait for any lemons. I do promise lemons but not till later on.**

 **Thanks for reading xx**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello again! I have great news… I got into college and I'm done with prelim's (yey!) so that means I can get back to writing and have faster updates. I feel bad since I haven't updated in so long.**

 **I'm not really sure what to write for this chapter so I'm just gonna make it short. I'm trying to make the chapters longer but I need to get the hang of writing again so I have to make this chapter a bit short, sorry.**

 **Thank you to the people who have reviewed and favoured this story and thank you to the lovely comments. They made me happy to read ^_^.**

 **Hope you enjoy this chapter x**

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Misaki POV 

It's been a month since I started working for the Great Usami Akihiko and, so far, it's been pretty fun. Much to my surprise (and embarrassment) people have been calling me a miracle worker a little after I started working here.

They all say I'm the reason for Usami-sama being nicer to the rest of the staff and that he has become more approachable to them all. Though I didn't notice that Usami-sama was mean to his staff in the first place since he was always so kind to me.

Because of this, it was easy to make friends in the company and no one seems to dislike me or bitch about me behind my back. People even give me treats ever since Aikawa told everyone I love sweet foods (I swear I'm gonna get fat). Everyone seems to be happy with me working here.

Or so I thought…

Currently, Usami-sama is having a meeting with the manager of the printer company and his young apprentice while I sit and take notes.

It might just be my imagination, or me being paranoid, but I am 99.9% sure that the young apprentice is giving me one hell of a death glare every time Usami isn't looking.

"-ashi..."

 _Nope… I'm not paranoid...he's staring at me._

-"kahashi..."

What the hell did I do? I haven't said one word to offend the guy but it looks like he's just about ready to flip the table and strangle me with his own tie.

"Takahashi!"

I was brought out of my musing from Usami, who's now looking at me as if my spaced out state is the most amusing thing in the world to him. Considering he's in the middle of a long meeting, it probably is.

"I'm sorry, what is it Usami-sama?"

He did it again. He flinched when I said his name. For some reason, every time I say it, his eye lid's twitch. Its not like I can ask him why he does this so I just ignore it.

"I need to talk to Sumi Keiichi once we're finished with our meeting. Would you be able to take him to my office? Once your done you can go on break."

 _So that's his name... Sumi Keiichi...The one who apparently hates me._

If I didn't give the slightest glance towards Sumi's direction, I would have missed it. That sly half smile that women usually give to Usami when there trying to seduce him.

Without a word, Sumi stood up from his seat and started to swiftly walk towards the door.

What the hell? Why did he make such a face towards Usami? Well..he is really good looking...but who knew that men were after him too.

It was always tiring when women gave Usami-sama that sensual smile. There words saying one thing, but there eyes saying they had ulterior motives towards him. It was fine in the end since Usami paid them no mind, but to invite Sumi back to his office and make sure I wasn't present at the time was something that didn't usually happen.

 _Could it be...Usami prefers men over women?_

It seems possible.

I stood up from my chair and gave Usami a quick bow before heading to the door, only to get slammed into the wall when I closed it behind me.

To my surprise, Sumi had me pinned to the wall with both arms at either side of my head. He was giving me a look of utter disgust.

"So…This is the new secretary that has been said to work miracles, I presume?"

He was getting too close for comfort.

"I was expecting someone with a bit more class but, you're not even wearing a suit, what makes you think you can work for someone of Akihiko's standards?"

Did he just call him by his first name? I don't think I've ever heard anyone call him that name before. Not even my brother called him that when they were still friends.

"Just kidding!..."

 _Huh?_

"...it's all about your work ethic, not about how you dress in this high ranking publishing company with hundreds of highly qualified, professional workers now is it?"

I cant tell of he's making fun of me or if this is just his demeanour but I feel like he's really trying to strike a nerve or something.

I look at the young man before me and see a properly dressed apprentice. Not one wrinkle on his suit, not one thread out of place.

I then look down at my own attire of a simple, light blue vest jumper with an almost unbuttoned white shirt underneath and black skinny jeans. Top it all of with worn out converse and you have the average smart/casual look that a normal teenager would wear. The complete opposite to everyone else in this building.

"I'm actually Akihiko's previous secretary. Worked for him for about two months. Although he never got much work done when I was around..."

What?

"...I was nothing but a...sweet…distraction to him."

Sumi fisted the top of my shirt and pulled me closer to him until I could almost feel him breathe on my cheek.

"So, how about you be a good little secretary and don't get any closer to Akihiko than necessary – if you know what I mean?"

I was about to retort when he grabbed my chin to make me to look at him straight in the eye.

"Akihiko is mine. Got anything to say about that?"

I wanted to say no, but I couldn't help ask the question that's been on my mind since he said he previously worked for Usami-san.

"Why...why were you fired if Usami-sama seemed to be happy with you working along side him?"

At my question, a smirk grew upon his face.

"I think you already know the answer to that. You know the rules of this company don't you?"

At this a gave a small nod. It was obvious what he was pointing at but why didn't he just come right out and said it if he can say this much.

He let go of my shirt and started to walk away.

"You don't have to take me to Usami's office, I know where is it already so go on your break. It was a delight to finally meet you...Takahashi."

Once Sumi was out of sight I quickly walked to the front entrance of the building to get some fresh air.

Why did he have to say those things? it's not my business what Usami gets up to in his private live.

 _Its not like I'm dating Usami. Heck, I'm not even…_

Or am I?

Even now, I'm still trying to figure out that part of me.

* * *

 **so! can anyone figure out what Misaki doesn't understand about himself? XD**

 **Again I'm sorry its still a little short. I know what I want to write for the next chapter so that should be out in a couple days since there is a big second part to this chapter that I wrote in literally under an hour…**

 **Please point out any mistakes if you find them and excuse the grammar. I was just trying for time here.**

 **P.S, to** **Dorito** **. Thank you for more suggestions. There are some that I was planning to actually and thank you to you and everyone else for the support.**

 **Thank you for reading x**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello! Okay this is the second half to the last chapter. I left it on a short note because 1) its been a month since I wrote for this story and 2) I was tired XD.**

 **This chapter is going to be a little longer though since I'm getting on to the main body of this story so that's good news I guess.**

 **One last thing, I've decided to write more chapters for my** **Glasses** **fic (Misaki x Usami) so if your interested in reading it please check it out ^_^.**

 **this chapter is mostly about Misaki's feelings towards his sexuality and how he finds it hard to accept himself.**

* * *

Misaki POV...again…

 _(AN: continuing off from last chapter)_

Why did he have to say those things? it's not my business what Usami gets up to in his private live.

 _Its not like I'm dating Usami. Heck, I'm not even…_

Or am I?

Even now, I'm still trying to figure out that part of me.

I'm always lying to myself when it comes to my own sexuality. Since I was a kid, I was always told that love was shared between a man and a women, there was no room for any other kind of love.

People now-a-days are more accepting of gay men and women. But there are still people that are prejudice against that kind of love. People that don't understand same sex relationships.

People like my own brother.

Nii-chan doesn't like gay men. At all. He segregated anyone who was out of the closet from himself and made sure to keep even me away from anyone who was open about their sexuality. He even forced me to break it off with a friend once because they told me they had feelings for both men and women.

I realised that I didn't have any feelings for girls when I entered college. I never had a girlfriend before, nor did I want to date anyone either. At first I thought I just hadn't met the right person yet until my friends noticed something about me that I never noticed before.

My friends would usually point out to me that my personality and the way I presented myself was quite feminine. They also realised that I could easily fall into a long gossip session with girls rather than talk about stuff with guys. People would also call me cute when I pout or when I blush like a girl.

I noticed that, even though my friends never said anything, they thought that I could be gay. My guy friends stopped bringing up the whole girlfriend thing all together and my friends that were girls would bring up the subject occasionally and ask my opinion on same sex couples.

One day, they caved and told me they thought I might like men. I put more thought into it and over time, I realised they could be right. I even started dating someone but broke up with them after a month since they tried to rush me into having sex, making me highly uncomfortable. He was a popular mangaka who actually introduced me into the world of publishing and helped me get my first job in Marukawa Shoten.

I hid my relationship from my brother and the fact that I was gay. I was prepared to tell him when I hit 20 but his prejudice against gay men heightened significantly for some unknown reason, I got so scared of him finding out the truth that I moved out soon after and to this day, I keep it a secret from everyone. This all happened about two years ago fro-

 _Wait…_

Two years ago was the time he wanted nothing to do with Usami-sama wasn't it, and if what Sumi said has anything to do with this…

Usami must have told nii-chan he liked men.

That has to be it. If Sumi is in a relationship with Usami-sama that means Usami would have feelings for men to some extent right? Also, if nii-chan broke his friendship with Usami around the same time his hatred for gay men increased, nii-chan must have found out about Usami's sexuality.

 _Usami-sama…_

Is he really dating that guy? I mean, anyone with a high ranking position in this company is not allowed to date employees. That rule applies to the CEO especially. This policy was put in place to make sure employees can work effectively with other employees. Relationships in the workplace could lead to distractions between staff or, what's worse, be a major consequence to an effective team if relationships between employees ended on a bad note.

Of course Usami-sama and Sumi wouldn't end their relationship just because Sumi Keiichi got fired. This gave them more of an opportunity to pursue a relationship since they wouldn't have to hide it from the company. Right?

Then, why does Usami-sama act the way he does with me?. I noticed, since working here, that he was a little clingy towards me. He would grab on to me and hold me in a tight hug when he got the chance and would always smile at me. Even when he is visibly in a bad mood, his face brightens when he catches sight of me.

He didn't seem to act this way to Sumi. He even told me to take him to his office even though Sumi knew where his office was when he could just tell him himself. I don't even think he gave the young apprentice one glance in the meeting room just now. He didn't want to give him the time of day.

But he did want him in his office...alone...without me there.

 _...I guess should get back to work._

I don't know how long its been but I can't stay away for too long, I've got a lot to do so I need to get back to work.

 _That's gonna be difficult..._

I heard from some colleagues that all of the previous secretaries had an individual office. They found it strange that I didn't have one. I actually share an office with Usami-sama. I'm not complaining since the view from the windows is astounding and I love his companionship. The only problem is I don't know if Sumi and Usami are still in there, doing whatever they're doing.

My thoughts on whether there little get together was over or not was resolved when Sumi walked out of Usami's study, smirking when we made eye contact.

What caught my attention first was the once neatly pressed suit he wore was completely dis-shelved. His shirt was wrinkled and the top button was ripped off. He wasn't wearing his tie or blazer either and he had sweat forming at his forehead.

No words were passed when he confidently stalked passed me, smirk still plastered on his face.

 _It doesn't take a genius to come up with an idea about what they were up to..._

Feeling deflated, I opened the door to my boss' office only to see Usami-sama with his back to the door and his entire form visibly still when he heard me walk in. It was almost as if he was trying to hide something from me.

"Usami-sama?"

I watched as he slowly turned around to face me holding a glass of what seemed to be a tumbler filled to the brim with either whiskey or brandy.

 _He was drinking?_

When I first met Usami-sama, I remember that he had the faintest sent of alcohol in his breath and for a few days after, he would smell of it after an important business meeting or when his editor came to bite his head off about missing his deadlines. I realised he would drink every time he was stressed or had an unfortunate discussion with someone, but this is the first time in a while that I've seen him even look at alcohol let alone drink it.

What makes it more unbelievable is that he's drinking after being with someone he would enjoy being with since he only drinks when he's feeling down. Not only that, he looks like he's ready to scream bloody murder any minute now.

 _What happened?_

He slowly walked over to his desk and put down the tumbler before walking over to me. He was getting a little too close for comfort but before I could take a step back, he pulled me into a warm embrace.

 _Huh?_

It seems like the filled glass sitting on Usami's desk wasn't the first. The scent was all over him. Did he drink when Sumi was here? Why is he drinking.

"U-Usami-sama? What's wr-"

"Misaki..." I gasped at the use of my given name. His voice was low and quiet in my ears but it almost sounded resentful. "...I'm sorry, just...let me hold you for a while longer."

What the heck? What happened between Sumi and Usami for him to act this way. Sumi walked out all high and mighty while Usami seeks to drown his sorrows in alcohol?

I slowly bring my arms up to wrap then around Usami-sama to offer him some comfort. For a long time we stood in compatible silence until Usami decided to speak up again.

"Forgive me if I'm wrong...I never made the connection before since your family name is quite common.."

He let go of me a little to make eye contact but still kept a loose grip around by waist.

"Are you...by any chance...related to Takahiro Takahashi?"

 _Oh…he's asking about my brother?_

The look in his eyes tells me he wants me to say no. Well its understandable. If he really does like men and my brother pushed him away because he found out, then he would be afraid if I do the same.

"I...am his little brother..." He stiffened at my answer and let go of me to put his arms by his side with his fists clenched. I guess he would know all about my brother raising me so of course he would think my views on same sex relationship were the same as Nii-chan's. he's probably afraid to tell me in case I start to dislike him like my brother did.

Usami looked so deflated and upset that I couldn't help but grab his arms to re-wrap myself in his embrace wrapping my arms around in his neck afterwords. He lifted his gaze to look at me in surprise.

"I'm sorry…my brother wouldn't accept you. He's stupid to toss you aside because of who you are. He was stupid to loose such a great friend."

At this Usami let out a long, relieved sigh and tightened his grip around me once more. How could Nii-chan do this. A powerful and confident man is showing his pathetic, vulnerable side because of something my brother wouldn't accept about his old best friend.

"So, I assume you're aware of what happened two years ago...that I was your brothers friend befor-"

"yes..." I cut him off.

"...I don't know what was said but I think I figured out why his attitude towards you changed. Its obvious when you put the pieces together."

"And...what do you think about it...about me?"

I should tell him I understood because I also liked men. But I have a hard time admitting it to myself let alone my boss. Heck, I was to afraid to even write it on my application for this job.

"...who am I to judge what a person can't change about themselves. Unfortunately there are people that cant understand this and it causes trouble. That's why it's good for you to have someone that will accept you...I can."

More silence consumed us until Usami broke it with a small whisper. Only one simple phrase was said but it was strong enough to send a shiver flowing down my spine.

"Thank you."

Holding Usami like this right now made one thing clear to me. The reason he hasn't drank until his past was brought up was because he would always have me around. He treats me with kindness because he doesn't want me to leave him. He's happy when I'm here because in there for him when he needs me. I stick by his side and he knows I'm happy to do so.

So, if I'm seen as someone special to Usami-sama...that's more than enough reason to stay by his side. Not just as his secretary...but as his friend.

* * *

 **Just want to mention something. Usami falls in love really easily and that's what causes him to have a lack of trust when someone hurts him or breaks his trust. He became jaded because of this and doesn't let anyone get close to him but since Misaki is like an open book, all his emotions out in the open for everyone to see, this makes Usami trust him more and fall for him.**

 **Also. Misaki noticed that Usami drinks when he is upset and about the fight with Takahiro from two years ago because he is highly observant.**

 **Another thing I want to mention is if anyone needs me to clear up something they don't understand in this fic please tell me. I feel like I have a lot of missing information for some reason.**

 **Thank you for reading x**


	6. Chapter 6

**I'm starting to think I make my authors notes a bit too long...am I? Meh, who cares?**

 **This chapter is about what really happened in Usami's office with Sumi with a cute little 'fluff' moment in the end but, all in all, this won't be a shocking/exiting chapter I don't think.**

 **The next chapter is going to be the 1** **st** **climax in the story as it involves a fight between Misaki and his brother.**

 **Sorry to those who are probably anticipating a lemon now, I will write one, its just going to be a while so stay tuned XD.**

 **Hope you enjoy this chapter x**

* * *

Usami POV

Warm.

That's how I would describe this experience…

Warm...And safe.

I struggle to remember the last time I embraced someone like this. The expel of air flowing though Misaki's pursed lips onto my neck, the feeling of small arms wrapped around my torso, those petite hands gently rubbing my back in a soothing gesture. If only I could hold him like this forever.

I let him see my shameful side. The urge to feel that liquor burn the back of my throat and slowly turn my mind into a buzzing whirlwind of forgetfulness consumed me, making me only think about the intoxication and nothing else. All I can do now is accept that this innocent little angel saw a side of me that I never wanted him to see.

The addiction started not long ago. Those few that stood by my side either betrayed me, used me or turned on me once I let them in enough to expose my true self. It caused me to close myself to the rest of the world and seek something that would help me forget, help me cope.

Alcohol.

Spirits were too strong, wines were not strong enough. After getting used to the burning, numbing feeling, nothing helps anymore. But that doesn't stop me from trying.

I look to intoxicants for comfort, knowing I cant find it in another being. But seizing Misaki in my arms like this almost makes me forget about the full tumbler on the edge of my desk.

Almost.

I wouldn't have had to expose this shameful side of mine if it wasn't for that Sumi. He waltzed in here only to tear my walls down, knowing he's one of the few who are capable of doing so.

 _FLASHBACK_

"Thank you for meeting with me in this short period of time Usami-san. I hope the proceedings go out ad planned and look forward to working with you in the future."

The CEO of T. Prints bowed after standing and preparing himself for his departure.

"No, thank you for getting in touch. Also, my apologies but I will be speaking with Sumi Keiichi for a while so it would be best if you left without him"

He agreed and made a swift exit after a few more words were exchanged.

 _Now, time to deal with the insect whose come crawling back._

It didn't take long to reach my office door. Sighing slightly, I opened it to see Sumi leaning on the edge of Misaki's desk on the corner, smirking that infuriating smirk as usual.

"You wanted to talk... _Sensei_?"

No respect. This man had no respect for others did he. I made him leave the company 6 moths ago because of his incompetence. The only reason he wanted this job was to try and seduce me and make me his. He almost succeeded too.

It happened when I was delayed three months on deadlines that I stressed out and drank to feel more at ease. Until I drank half a litre of brandy and was on my last legs.

Sumi attempted to attack me at that point and unfortunately I couldn't remember the rest. I had an idea about the events that took place the nest day when I woke up still fully clothed with a blacked eyed secretary walking in. I dismissed him from work after that, telling him if he ever showed up in my company again for whatever reason, I'd be sending him straight to the depths of hell.

"I believe Sumi, that I told you to never set foot in this company again, did I not?"

I walked over to my desk chair, not sparing him one glance.

"I see you've got yourself a new secretary, quite the cutie isn't he?"

Like I said, no respect. He completely ignored my question knowing it was something I couldn't stand. Well, I would not grant him the satisfaction of playing his mind games.

"You can leave calmly without any trouble now, or you can be removed by force"

Giving him one quick glance, I could see by his expression that he wasn't going to leave so soon. I leaned bake in my chair to glare at his smug face, giving the attention seeking bastard what he wanted.

"I've heard a lot about him my others in the printing company. The adolescent, inexperienced secretary was able to drastically change the shut in CEOs demeanour in a matter of weeks. Judging my his looks its fair to say your _taken_ by him"

it wasn't a question, it was a statement. A statement that was true enough. Sumi's smirk grew wider as if something in my expression gave it away that he was correct.

"Oh don't worry, he wont want anything to do with you for long. He'll eventually find out about your alcohol addiction..or how you sleep with anyone around you foe comfort."

At that I stood up and grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulling out one of the buttons in the process. It was satisfying to see that infuriating smirk wipe off his face and beads of sweat form on his forehead. His eyes full of fear.

"Don't even think about going near my employees. If you know what's good for you you'll stay away from me. Or would you like to be responsible for your fathers permanent dismissal from work. Remember, his employment and future employability is in my hands."

"There's another reason Misaki might stay away form you..." he continued. "...I wonder what he would do if he finds out your love for his OLDER BROTHER."

After those words lift his mouth, I slowly let go of Sumi's collar, frozen in shock.

Takahashi.

It was right in front of me. Perhaps I never made the connection because its such a common name. But, even not knowing what Takahiro's little brother looked like, I knew enough about him to notice the similarities. Also it was of his wife's connection that Misaki was able to get an interview here.

I know that Takahiro raised Misaki. Does that mean Misaki would hate gay men like his older brother? Does that mean he would hate me if he knew?

Or...did he already know. It's more likely that Misaki was told of the events that unravelled two years ago. It was his brother for God's sake!

Then why would Misaki willingly work for me if he knew?

Taking one last look at Sumi I slowly walked over to the book cabinet where I keep one bottle of whiskey in one of the compartments. I took out the bottle and a tumbler. While filling the glass of the dark gold liquid, without even looking back at Sumi, I said the one thing I should of said when the conversation started to go south.

"Get out."

There was silence until the tell tale sound of the door clicked shut. By that time I was already half way through my second glass.

END OF FLASHBACK 

"Usami-sama?"

I flinched a little when Misaki called me in that name. For some reason I hated it when he called me by my proper title. But he wasn't culpable of this, it's what he has to call me as his superior. But even if he simply called me Usami, I don't think I would be at ease.

"Takahashi-kun, try calling me my my first name."

I said it without thinking. He let go of his hold around my waist to look at me with a shocked expression. A rosy hue forming on his plump cheeks.

 _He's too cute._

Misaki looked to be contemplating hard and for a while we stood in silence before he spoke up once again.

"U-Usa-..."

Of course he wouldn't say it. It would be too personal for someone so innocent to use there boss' first name so informally.

"Usagi...san"

Blinking owlishly at him, I processed what he just said. Misaki was obviously embarrassed as he hid is red face in his hands, his ears even turning a vivid shade of crimson.

"I'm sorry Usami-sama I cant use you name so casually like that so-"

"it's fine.." I cut him off. "Usagi-san it is. On one condition"

He looked up at me, a quiet indication he was listening carefully to what I had to say. Curiosity was clear in those beautiful emerald irises.

"I can call you Misaki."

More silence. I though it wouldn't be possible for Misaki's face to get any redder than it was already but was sincerely proven wrong.

"Okay...U-Usagi-san"

This kid makes me so happy.

* * *

 **Sorry that I've resorted back to short chapters. I got really tired after starting this chapter so I'm too lazy to go over it and see if it makes sense or has mistakes. If it does please kindly inform me and ill go over it again. Sorry**

 **I just really want this chapter out now since I need to work on a chapter for** **Glasses** **and do a bunch of stuff for school.**

 **Hope you enjoyed reading anyway x**


	7. Chapter 7

**Ughhhhhh….too much school work... Its driving me crazy!**

 **Still can't write a lot for the next two weeks. I have assignments to do, sorry. I'll try to update soon again but sadly I cant make any promises.**

 **This is also unedited so I'm sorry if it doesn't make sense. I'll fix it when I have the time.**

 **Hope you enjoy this chapter x**

 **WARNING: Unedited.**

* * *

Usami POV...again

I made the right decision putting Misaki's desk into my office instead of giving him his own. It was always to quiet when it was just me. The only source of entertainment was watching the world go by outside the window and listening to the busy traffic below.

The continuous tapping would always be coming from the keyboard of Misaki's laptop, never slowing down with his rapid typing and never stopping until he was finished with his task.

It was amusing to see his face in complete concentration. His sole focus would be on the screen in front of him. The blue light illuminating his soft, smooth features and the display would be reflected in his eyes so clearly that you could see every sentence he wrote down.

And in those times that Misaki was struggling, he had the tendency to bite his lip hard, as if he was uncertain about something, but would never give up on finding a solution to complete his work and find the answer in the end.

"Usagi-san? Is there anything else left for me to do?"

I long to say yes. To make him stay with me just that little while longer but I didn't have the heart to do so. I've had him working a little later in the day to help me out during late night meetings but he would never complain about being tired. He would just smile and help me out with whatever I asked of him.

He was obviously tired.

"No, your finished for today. You can go home."

Misaki smiled and began to pack up his things but paused when a small knock on the door was heard. One of the receptionists opened the door with a tall figure following behind her.

I would know that man anywhere. The dark hair and dark eyes lurking behind a pair of thin glasses with a look of disgust plastered on his face was far to familiar to not know who he was.

"Nii-chan? Why are you here?"

I glanced over to Misaki to see a look of confusion plastered over his face. Clearly not expecting to see his brother here.

Looking back a t the man I once loved, he spoke in a harsh but quiet tone towards his brother but kept his eyes firmly on me. The look of hatred clearly written all over his face.

"Misaki isn't your shift over? I think its time for you to leave."

Misaki opened his mouth to protest but one look from Takahiro stopped him from saying anything. He picked up the rest of his things and left the office without another word, keeping his head down the entire time.

I gave a slight nod to the receptionist to indicate that she could leave then turned back to Takahiro, gesturing for him to sit down in the seat in front of the desk. I leaned back in my chair and looked at him with a stoic and calm expression, keeping up with my professional appearance even if I wanted to present him with my own look of aversion.

"You wished to speak with me, Takahiro?"

His presence was already irritating me but what really made my blood boil was those two, simple words that almost made me loose it.

"Fire Misaki."

The desire to stand up and punch him was far too strong that I had to take a deep breath to calm my increasing temper.

"Well..." I smirked. "...and here I thought you came here to apologise for what you did to me."

It was a delight to watch him stand up abruptly from his seat and slam his hands on the desk in attempt to look intimidating.

"You deserve much more than a few parting words for-"

"For what, Takahiro?..." I cut him off "...For something I cannot change? For something I have no choice but feel?"

I stood up and went to look out the window, completely trying to ignore Takahiro's presence.

"I will not fire an employee who has done nothing. So...why don't you tell me why you want me to fire one of my most diligent workers."

I heard the man behind me sit back in the chair with a creak and awaited his response.

"My brother is the type of selfless person that does his best not to inconvenience people and Is attentive to others feelings no matter how much of a burden it puts on him. I don't want my little brother getting into anything unnecessary. Before you go fishing around my cute baby brother, you should know he doesn't like men."

I chuckled. _That's what he thinks._ True, Misaki hasn't said anything regarding his sexuality but his resume said a lot. The question asking about sexuality was completely destroyed with deep lines and scribbles, obviously having a battle with himself and what he would write. Misaki settled with writing 'prefer not to say' which was applicable, but did say a lot.

"Relationships can lead to many problems in the workplace, I do not tolerate anything that could lead to a decrease in a workers morale and concentration so It isn't allowed. This applies to anyone in the workplace, even myself."

I honestly didn't mind if anyone was in a relationship. The only reason this was made a rule is so I could fire previous secretaries with a good enough reason to do so.

"I've heard from Minami that Misaki is doing well at the company. He's known to be the only employed secretary that you tolerate and seem to be close with. He also gave you a pet name didn't he? So how do you think it looks for someone to naturally distrust and hate everyone to suddenly get close to someone so frail and kind."

I didn't answer but glanced back to Takahiro to see him stand and walk slowly towards me.

"If your not going to fire my little brother..." He paused to forcefully pin me to the window, grasping my collar. "Then I will and can make him quit."

With that statement, he turned to make a swift exit.

If there as one thing I knew about Takahiro is that he was heavily influential on Misaki. He raised him so of course misaki would listen to what Takahiro had to say if he had a good enough argument.

I cant loose Misaki. I don't want to loose the only person I feel I can trust.

Deciding that it was time to call it a day, I got ready to leave for home with only one thought in mind and a sudden urge to forget.

' _Drink away the pain.'_

* * *

 **The next chapter will include Misaki finding out how dangerous Usagi gets with alcohol so it's hopefully gonna be good XP**

 **I'm thinking of writing a vampire AU after I have more time. it's going to be completely different from the average vampire fics out there and I don't think anyone else has written it with the same plot so it could be interesting so if your interested to read about that then I might write it.**

 **Thank you for reading x**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hello! You know, someone told me today "Tasha, your far too innocent for your own good." Haha! Oh, if only they knew what I read and write in my spare time XD**

 **This chapters going to be much longer (which is a good thing I guess) but knowing me ill probably go back to 'struggle to get at least 1000 words a chapter' mode once this chapter is finished.**

 **Hope you enjoy x**

 **WARNINGS: Lengthy chapter.**

* * *

Misaki POV

"Okay. Thanks Minami. Tell him to call me when he gets home."

Hanging up after a long and slightly worried conversation on the phone to my brothers wife, I slump onto the couch with an exasperated sigh.

What was I thinking? Leaving when Nii-chan came to apparently talk to Usagi-san. The angry look on his face made it clear it wasn't going to be a 'kiss and make up' kind of visit. It irked me that I didn't have the decency to stay and listen to what Nii-chan had to say to Usagi knowing that the author wouldn't be able to handle the harsh words Nii-chan would possibly say to him.

But no. I went all the way home to my small apartment without a second thought. It wasn't until Minami called me that I remembered the events that were unfolding in that office. What made it more worrying was that apparently nii-chan wasn't home yet after two whole hours.

I was desperate to ask nii-chan what he said to the older man but I also wanted to make sure Usagi-san was okay too.

Piking up the phone once more, I tried to call the office to check on the accomplished CEO but was left with the answering machine immediately. The only time the answer machine was turned on was when Usagi wasn't in the office and, knowing that he didn't have anything else to do today, this meant that Usagi went home.

I began to type in his home number when the phone suddenly burst out in a cheerful song, the ringtone was set for Nii-chan's mobile.

"Nii-chan! Sorry, I just want to know why you decided to visit Usag-eh...Usami-sama."

My brother was quiet for a moment until he spoke with a calm yet strained voice.

"Sorry Misaki, I just went to confirm something with Usami… it was about your safety at that company so I had to make sure before I told you something...concerning... about him."

Nii-chan spat out the last word with so much distaste that I could almost picture the scowl that would be outlining his features.

"What did you have to tell me?"

"Misaki, you need to quit working for Usami as soon as possible. He's a ruthless man who can and will take advantage of you then throw you away without a second thought. I'm worried about you Misaki. I don't want to see my baby brother get hurt."

Quit? there's no way I could stop working for Usagi-san. Its been fun over the past couple months and to just stop that all together and leave? Unthinkable.

"Nii-chan..." I started with a sigh. "...There's no way Usami-sama would hurt me. I don't understand why people are always saying how mean he is too, he's never been mean to me."

When nii-chan kept silent, I continued with my ranting.

"Do you know how much people have come up to me and told me how nicer Usami has been since I started working for him? He's also less stressed with his workload since I'm helping out...he nee-"

"MISAKI!..." Nii-chan cut me off. "...I have a friend who knows someone who worked as Usami's secretary. Rumours were spread about how he seduces his secretaries and has his way with them. Then throws them away after he gets bored. He fires them, stating it's because they breached a certain rule and moves on to his next victim, ready to break another heart."

I stood in silent shock at my brothers words. No, it couldn't be true. Usagi-san wasn't after me was he? He wouldn't toss me aside after he was done with me, would he?

So many questions went running through my head at the prospect of Usami sleeping around with his previous secretaries. It does make sense in some way though. How Usagi wasn't able to keep any previous employees for the long-term and why Usagi-san had such a rule about relationships in the workplace.

It would also explain Sumi too...

I didn't want to give nii-chan the satisfaction of proclaiming he could be right about my safety. I always followed whatever he said and gave up on seeking out what I wanted since it would benefit other people if I did what I was told. I fought before for what I wanted, but that one, simple word was my trigger for giving in to him every time.

"Misaki, you have to understand that your protection is important to me. I don't want to be burdened with worry about you being around that man."

And there it was.

Burden.

Nii-chan would always use that word if I wouldn't give into anything he was saying. It was surprising that he would use it before I even opened my mouth to retort however.

' _He must really want me to cut my ties with Usagi-san.'_

I don't want to be a burden to my brother, but I know if I leave Usagi-san, he will be in a wreck. He needs me to help him out with things and he's a sensitive man no matter how much he tries to hide it.

What's worse is that every time he cant handle his emotions, he would go straight for the liquor bo-

Oh no…

"Ehh...nii-chan? I have to go. Ill think about what you said but its too sudden for me to quit. If I'm thinking of quitting I have to discuss it with Usami-sama first. Bye."

Not giving him the time to answer, I dis-connected the call and rushed around the house looking for the document that had Usagi-san's home information and address on it. When I found it I grabbed my phone and wallet and left wile calling for a taxi.

Out of all the times I've seen Usagi drinking or smelled the alcohol on his breath, it would always be after a stressful event took place. And what's more stressful than the person you once loved barging into you office to chew you out with no explanation.

' _God knows what kind of condition he's in right now.'_

The only thing I could think of was getting to Usagi-san as fast as I could.

* * *

"Thank you for the lift."

I waved to the taxi driver as he was driving off and looked up at the tall and luxurious apartment complex in front of me. Usagi-san's condo was located at the very top of the building.

I walked in, ignoring the looks I got from the rich, stuck up occupants who sneered at my choice of unbranded clothing and walked into the elevator, hitting the last button on the panel.

As I waited for the elevator to reach the top, I thought of what nii-chan said. Did Usagi-san really sleep around with his previous secretaries? It would be good to here the truth from Usagi-san one day, hopefully sooner than later to get rid of this feeling of dread.

Not because I didn't want him to get close to me, but because I didn't want to be thrown away after he got bored.

I was interrupted by my thoughts by the sound of the elevator reaching the top floor.

The metal doors opened to reveal a long corridor with a dark oak door on the other end with a key code system on a panel next to it. I took pout the piece of paper with the address on in and punched in the numbers to bypass the security code put in place.

After I entered the code I was hesitant to open the door. It would be strange to turn up uninvited and walk right in without permission, but Usagi-san might not be able to answer the door in the state he's probably in at the moment.

Deciding to enter, I pushed the handle down and slowly opened the door, glancing in at first to see if Usagi was around. Waking in, I kicked my shoes off and ventured further into the hallway and walked through the first door on the right – the only one that was open.

The sight before me was not a pretty one. It was hard to see with the thick smoke poisoning the fresh air and the darkness in the room but it was easy to make out the image of Usagi-san lying on the couch with three empty bottles of whiskey and a few empty packets of cigarettes sitting on the coffee table.

I switched on the lights and took a few tentative steps towards the man lying helplessly on the large burgundy couch in the centre of the living space.

He looked so troubled.

As if sensing my presence, he groaned before opening his eyes to look directly into mine. That playful fiery look he always had in his eyes were replaced with dull lilac orbs, filled with sorrow.

"M-Misaki?"

I jumped a little and watched as he slowly sat up straight, not once breaking eye contact.

"Ah, sorry Usagi-san, I just thought I'd come check on you since I was worried. I guess I could have just called yo-ahh!"

Usagi-san pulled me down onto his lap and wrapped his arms around me, burying his head in the crook of my neck.

"Misaki...please, don't leave. I wouldn't be able to go on any more without you beside me."

I tried to break the hold he had on me but he just tightened his arms, refusing to let me go.

"Usagi-san I'm not going to leave the company, you know that right?"

Usagi-san stilled before he threw me down onto the couch. He straddled my hips and pinned my arms above my head before moving in close.

"Please...stay by my side...please."

"Usagi-san wha-mmph."

I was cut of my a pair of lips covering my own.

Usagi-san's grip on my wrists tightened when I struggled to get out of his hold and I froze up when I felt his tongue slowly lick my bottom lip, silently asking for entrance.

Usagi's forcefulness and inability to produce any coherent thought terrified me to no end. His rationality was clearly thrown right out of the window in his drunken state and it was obvious he wasn't going to stop even if I begged.

I snapped back to reality when I felt the hand holding my right wrist gently slide down, caressing my side and slyly creep under my t-shirt.

Fear and adrenalin working together to feul my 'fight-or-flight' response, I pushed him off with my now free arm and did the only thing that I could think of at that time to snap him out of it.

SMACK!

I watched as Usagi sat up while bringing his hand up to his now burning cheek, eyes widened in shock.

It was clearly unsafe to stay near Usagi when he was like this so I quickly got up and made my way for the door until I was stopped in my tracks by the faint sniffling sound coming from behind.

Looking behind me, I gasped at the sight of Usagi-san with his hands covering his face.

He was crying.

"I'm sorry Misaki I just...don't want you to leave me. I've finally found someone who I can trust and know who wouldn't have the heart to ever deceive me and...knowing that could all be taken away from me from the one who made me like this just..."

' _Who made you like this?...nii-chan?...'_

I made my way back onto the couch, cautiously sitting at the edge of the sofa in case he decided to attack again. I wanted answers. Did nii-chan do this to him? Does he really sleep around? How long has he been hurting himself like this?

"Usagi-san...what exactly happened two years ago with nii-chan?"

He turned his head to look at me, eyes red and damp, and held out his hand. I reluctantly took it and felt him tug at it to pull me closer to him. He never let go even when I moved beside him.

"I wasn't expecting anything to happen, but I wanted to tell him that I had feelings for him. The guilt of staying by his side yet not telling him something so important was eating away at me and I couldn't handle it so I confessed. I didn't think anything would change after that and he would still be my friend since he's always looked past my whims but..."

He trailed of but I knew what he was going to say. Nii-chan discriminated Usagi-san for something that he couldn't change about himself and it was painful to know that it's clear he wouldn't accept me if I told him I liked men.

"Usagi-san, when did you start drinking...progressively?"

It was hard to find the right words to say when asking something like that. You cant just come out and say 'are you an alcoholic'.

"I began to consume executive amounts of alcohol from around the time your brother rejected me. It wasn't his fault entirely, he was almost a...catalyst? I always stress about the choices I make and about my relentless behaviour to such an extent that all I want to do is forget. I know that drinking wont help me with that since I remember them anyway, but the addiction consumed me so much that its too difficult to escape such a viscous cycle."

I was silent for a moment, taking in what he said until he spoke up again.

"Is there anything else you want to know?"

I wanted to know more so badly but he looked so broken I feared that one more retelling about his life choices would shatter him completely.

I was about to speak up until Usagi started to slide downwards until his head was on my lap. He's getting tired.

"Misaki?"

I made an incoherent noise at the back of my throat to let him know I was listening, unconsciously running my fingers through his silver locks while I waited for him to speak.

"'If you love something, set it free.' No matter how much a want you by my side, I know that...if you want to leave...I have to let you go..."

I sat in stunned silence as I let his words sink in once more. 'if you love something' huh? He doesn't want me to go but if I wanted to leave, he would let me...because he loves me?

I was about to ask what he meant by that but was stopped when I noticed he was sound asleep. Great.

For the first time since I arrived, I took a good look around the living space I was in. There was clothing and books scattered everywhere and the kitchen looked like some sort of disaster zone. Usagi-san really had some imperfections, huh?

I leaned down to softly whisper in his ear, knowing he wont hear me but hoped he could process my words somehow.

"Usagi-san...always know that you can count on me. Let me in."

I softly kissed his cheek and was glad to see, for the first time that night, a sense of calmness wash over the older man, he sighed in contentment and berried his face into my lap.

"I'll never leave you Usagi-san, never."

* * *

 **Yey, first climax of the story done! (this was 6 pages long XD)**

 **I've ran out of things to say for a really long authors note so yeah…**

 **Hope you enjoyed reading x**


	9. Chapter 9

**To** **Dorito:** **Ahh! I'm sorry. I totally forgot you gave me the suggestion for the last chapter. I was planning to do that whole scene from the beginning (one of the reasons why I wanted to write this fic) so we really do think alike XD.**

* * *

Usami POV

The first thing that woke me up was the sound of pots and pans banning on the counter. Thinking that no one should be in my condo I sat up with a start and opened my eyes, only to close them again as the blinding light seeping through the windows blinded me I had a pillow beside me and a blanket covering my bottom half. It was already morning.

"Ah Usagi-san! How are you feeling?"

I looked up at the sound of my secretary's voice. He handed me a glass of water and observed me while he stood.

"Does your head hurt? Would you like some painkillers? It seemed you were a little out of it last night"

 _Last night._

It was then, that all the memories of the night before came flooding back. I went home after the conversation with Takahiro, grabbed a bottle of liquor and drowned myself in my own self-pity. I passed out for a while after then woke up when Misaki came, then I…

 _I assaulted Misaki…_

"Usagi-san, are you okay? Do you think you can manage eating something?"

After doing that to Misaki, he stayed with me until morning. After pinning him down and possibly hurting him in the process, he still worries about me.

The entire living space was dust free with clothing, books and other forms of mess, now non-existent within the room. Even the kitchen was free from splattered condiments from my failed cooking attempts. The place was spotless.

"Misaki, did you...clean the house while I was asleep?"

It was an obvious question to ask but I couldn't think of anything else to say I'm that moment. Me, a highly skilled and accomplished writer, was speechless over such a thing.

"...sorry...I cant stand mess and there was no way I couldn't stay in a house that was messy without straightening up a little. I also went to the store to bu-"

"Why?..."

Many emotions danced across Misaki's face after I cut him off. It started off with a look of shock, confusion then settled on guilt.

"I'm sorry Usagi-san, I just cleaned up without thinking if you would want me rummaging through your stuff like that."

"No, that's not what I meant. How...how can you be so concerned about me after what I did to you? How can you not hate me after that?"

I couldn't bring myself to look him in the eye and kept my head down. Hoping that he didn't just forget about it while he was cleaning, then leave after I reminded him about last nights events. It was silent for a while until Misaki broke out in a fit of laughter making me whip my head up to look at him in shock.

He looked so beautiful in that moment. Cheeks a slight pinkish hue, tears of mirth clinging to his bottom lashes and that bright, wide smile. I could die happy, listening to his joyful laughter.

"Usagi-san, you-you're so silly. You don't have to apologise for something like that, everyone acts a certain way when their intoxicated. Plus, knowing you, you would beat yourself up about it and regret it for a long time so it's fine. You're my friend and I know you wouldn't want to hurt me."

The way Misaki spoke was more towards his friend than towards his boss, that alone made me feel like I could believe that he forgives me. But I still can't forgive myself for what I did to him.

I also cant hide the fact that I do wish I could touch him like that again, but Misaki only sees me as a friend. Its questionable if I could ever change that or if I would always be stuck holding onto an unrequited love for as long as I did with his older brother.

There's no way I would want to experience that again so I know my best option would be to tell him sooner than later, that way it wouldn't hurt more the longer we go on like this.

"Misaki...what if I told you I want to kiss you again like I did...if I told you I want to hold you close and never let you go. To...love you like you've never experienced love before. What would you do then?"

Misaki stared at me in shock, his cheeks heating up slowly with each passing moment. He cast his gaze to the side and seemed to be thinking hard.

"Is...is that want you want…?"

That was a good start I guess. He wasn't rejecting me and saying I was disgusting like Takahiro did so it was a good sign. However, it doesn't mean he wouldn't try to distance himself from me.

"I wont want to do anything you don't want me to do. I'm not going to risk loosing the only thing that makes me happy. But I hope this wont put a negative impact on what we have now."

Misaki sat down next to me after a while and looked at me straight in the eye, a look of understanding lingering in those emerald irises.

"Usagi, don't think I'm anything like my brother. I'm not going to hurt you like he did. After seeing the aftermath of one conversation you had with nii-chan, there's no way I'm going to leave you alone in the dark like that..."

I know he wouldn't do that, but I still feel insecure about it.

"...Usagi I care for you a lot and it helps if your honest about how you feel since your difficult to read. I need you to trust me and be yourself when your around me. It'll make you happier and you happiness will make me happy too. I promise"

After Misaki's declaration, he wrapped his arms around my shoulders to comfort me in a tight embrace. It was am enormous weight off my shoulders to know that Misaki would accept me for who I am and not someone I pretend to be.

With him by my side, I can be free of my fears.

* * *

 **Shorter chapter, cause I want to work on a new fic I uploaded. I accidentally put up one of the chapters from glasses instead of the actual chapter and 11 people read it. That's 11 followers I possibly lost -_-.**

 **Its fixed now so if you want to read it. Its called** **changed** **and review on that if you wanna see more since I'm only gonna update it if there is interest until June, when ill have more time to write it.**

 **Thanks for reading x**


	10. Chapter 10

**To be honest...I'm struggling with what to write now. I think my brain is stuck on study mode so all my creativity is just gone and I feel like my writing has gotten a little sloppy than when I started writing this. I don't know maybe I'm just being negative or something but...yeah.**

 **I also didn't realise that I have a few mistakes on some chapters that I wrote before so I'm gonna go back and fix them but it'll be nothing major, the story will be the same.**

 **hope you enjoy reading x**

Misaki POV

For about the hundredth time now, I tugged at the close-fitting collar wrapped firmly around my neck and ran my hands down the front of my shirt to smooth out any creases of the tailor made suit I was forcefully wearing,

There was nothing I hated more than wearing restricting clothing. It might have looked more professional than my hoodie, jeans and speakers, but the restriction always made me feel uncomfortable.

The reason I was actually wearing a suit and tie was because Usagi informed me earlier that he would be having a meeting with a high ranking illustrator and writer who had a really popular manga series running. The mangaka was considering joining the company so Usagi-san said it was best to make a good first impression.

But that wasn't until 2 in the afternoon…

It was only 9 in the morning…

"Usagi-san...if the meeting with that mangaka is not until later, why do I have to wear this suit now?"

Usagi-san looked up from his laptop blinking owlishly after starting at the screen for about an hour. He was in full concentration to finish a new novel that was supposed to be completed three days ago before Aikawa came in to possibly murder him.

Most people would think that the owner of Usagi Publishings could easily get away with missing deadlines but Usagi-san was signed with another company, Marukawa Shoten. He wrote for them before he made his own business but, not wanting another editor, decided to carry on publishing his books with Marukawa instead so he could keep working with Aikawa.

"You never wear a suit Misaki. Not that I'm complaining since your free to wear whatever you like. However, I had to get you to wear it before Aikawa comes since I had to use it for inspiration for this book."

It took me a moment to understand why this would be inspiration for his novel until his words finally processed in my mind. In a flash I stormed up to his desk and snatched his laptop from the polished surface.

I was utterly mortified at the text written in that simple, white document. Beautiful literacy ruined by highly provocative scenes.

 _Misaki, grasped the edge of the mahogany desk as he felt that unforgettable and impelling feeling of Akihiko's movements inside him. The older males movements were slow and steady. Each thrust hitting the spot inside him that made him see stars._

 _The slow movements were torture, as misaki was so close to tipping over the edge, but each slow thrust prevented him from doing so._

" _Akihiko...please, more...I'm so close PLEASE!"_

 _At Misaki's pleading, Akihiko's thrusts accelerated in speed and force, quickly bringing Misaki into an earth shattering climax, mouth opened in a silent scream._

" _Misaki, I love you..."_

 _With that Akihiko tightened his hold around misaki while filling him with his own…_

"AHHHHH! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?"

As if predicting my reaction, Usagi-san stood up and staked around his desk, not once breaking eye contact.

"You were the one that said I could be myself Misaki..." Usagi whispered in a low, husky voice that made me shiver with anticipation "...that includes knowing about my guilty pleasure in writing out my fantasies under a different pen name."

I vaguely registered the feeling of Usagi-san's cold fingers sneaking around my waist under my blazer and pulling me gently towards him until I was flushed against his firm chest.

Usagi lifted his hand to hold my chin and lightly tilted my head up to look into his gorgeous amethyst irises. I could feel my heart palpitate in my chest, getting faster and faster as he placed his forehead against mine.

"Would you like to read more? I'd be happy to play out anything I've written, at your request."

At his words I was snapped out of my trance as I thought back to the porno book written on the document on the laptop.

"No way, hentai-Usagi, let go!"

I flailed in his arms and he let go of me with a whole hearted laugh, tears of mirth forming in his yes and a bright smile on his face.

I stood and listened to the deep chuckle and started to laugh myself when he found it difficult to stop. It was a great change from his weakened state just three days ago. He brightened up after letting all of his insecurities out in the open and this was the end result.

A happy bunny.

Still smiling, he walked back to his desk to continue with his novel.

When Usagi-san acts like that, its difficult to tell of he's joking or being serious. Maybe both.?

It's nice though, to know I'm someone he can be comfortable around enough to show his true demeanour. its much better than the stoic, professional Usagi that always let his stress get the better of him.

There was just one thing that was bothering me…

He did confess his love to me and its clear I mean more to him as just a friend..but…

What about Sumi?

He did say that 'Usagi-san was his' so...that means their dating right?

But there's no way Usagi is the type of person who would do something like that. But then again, I was never the best at seeing people for who they really were.

It was like that with my ex too. At first, he was kind. Someone I looked up to for so many years beforehand actually took an interest in me. However, I wanted to take it slow...and he didn't.

I tugged at my collar at the memory of that night I broke up with him, suddenly felling more uncomfortable and restrained than before.

I still remember every word, very sight...every disgusting touch from his roaming hands. The embarrassment of something like that happening to me made me sick.

That man...I wish I never cross his path again. Never to see him again…

My thoughts were cut off at the sound of the door opening behind me and I suddenly felt faint at that all to familiar voice behind me.

"Its nice to see you again...Misaki-kun"

"...I-Ijuuin..."

Seems that I don't always get my wish...do I?

 **Great now I feel like that was too rushed (-_-.)...oh well…**

 **Please leave me suggestions and thoughts about what you thought. I like reading all your lovely comments :)**

 **Thank you for reading x**


	11. Chapter 11

**...sorry...sorry...I'm so sorry. Please just blame my lateness on writers block. I've been writing and re-writing this chapter so many times so I haven't ignored it and I'm soo sorry to those who thought I abandoned this.**

 **Just know that I will never abandon ANY of my stories until they're completed and I will try to never be this late again.**

* * *

Usami POV

"Ijuinn..." I spoke as I stood up to present myself to the highly awarded mangaka standing smugly in the middle of the room. His sole focus on Misaki who was now cowering at the side of my desk. "...I'm sure our meeting was scheduled later in the afternoon. So why the HELL are you here?"

Misaki was able to pick up my discomfort by the way I spoke. I could tell by the way he flinched that he was surprised by my sharp and informal tone, clearly not expecting me to act this way in front of a future representative of the company.

"I'm sorry, I double booked so I thought you'd have time now to have a meeting about me working for you, and I thought it would also be a great time to be...reacquainted with some old colleagues."

He tensed...Misaki definitely tensed at those words.

"How do you know Misaki, Ijuinn?" I asked. Obviously irritated beyond belief.

"Well, Usami-san, I got him his first job when he worked at Marukawa Shoten. Shouldn't you know that? You were the one who hired him after all."

He was testing me. I knew that much. This is exactly what happens when my own company tells me nothing. Aikawa knows more about this place and she isn't even an employee! Oh, I was not going to let this guy walk over me.

"His work experience, I know as much, but I think the reason why Misaki got a part time job there was because he's really skilled and is a fast learner, not by a back-door think. Don't you agree?"

I smirked, then cast my gaze to the side just in time to see Misaki flush and look down at the floor innocently. A definite sight for sore eyes, and my eyes were definitely sore by shooting imaginary bullets at this guys head.

Ijuinn was obviously not amused, and I found myself thinking more and more to prevent him from joining the company, but I'm not ignorant. If I were to do that I would loose profit and my reputation as a talent scout for high ranked writers.

"I-Ijuinn sensei, Usami-sama is a very busy man and...if you don't have an appointment...well."

 _Bless him._

"It's fine, Misaki. Take him to the conference room at the end of the hall. I know that's vacant until later so it'll be fine to use it for a short meeting."

I was taken aback when Misaki showed a faint look of distaste and suddenly a feeling of foreboding grew within me at the tough of leaving Ijuinn alone with Misaki.

"H-hai..." Without the boy uttering another word, he walked out the door knowing the mangaka would follow suit.

Misaki wasn't one to show so much discomfort around people. His behaviour when the author waltzed in the room unannounced and uninvited was proof enough that Misaki wasn't comfortable around such a man. The only question was…why?.

I prepared myself to head out to the meeting holding the file in my arms about Ijuinn's history at Marukawa, still thinking about Misaki's odd behaviour. I've seen that expression he wore before, I just cant pinpoint when…

...Wait…

...Pinpoint…

...Pinned…

That was when I saw that expression on Misaki's face. The expression Misaki had when Ijuinn walked through those doors was the same fearful expression he had when I forcefully pinned him down that night I was intoxicated.

Shit…

I found myself walking faster to the meeting room. Fear and dread filled me with the desire to protect Misaki from whatever this man could do to him.

~SMASH~

I paused for a moment after hearing the sound of glass breaking, only to fall into a full sprint to the conference room after it hit me that the noise was directed there. I threw the door open and suddenly, my vision was red with fury.

There. At the desk...was misaki being held by the neck by Ijuinn. His eyes were moist and swollen, an indication he was crying much longer than when this happened and on the edge of the desk and floor were the pieces of smashed class from the water jar.

A small red pool blended in with those clear droplets, with the origin of the colour seeping from Misaki's left hand. The glass was smashed on the table, not by falling on the floor.

Ijuinn let go of Misaki unexpectedly, causing him to loose his balance. I was able to break his fall before he fell onto the glass shards and got hurt more than he already was.

"Ijuinn...could you explain to me just what the FUCK YOU WERE DOING!"

I was not going to hide my anger. Misaki was shaking and sobbing in my arms and he was the cause. What made me more pissed is when all he did was calmly fix his tie and smiled wickedly.

"We were just catching up but things got a little out of hand. Its not like anyone can blame me, it's been a while since I've seen my boyfriend."

 _Boyfriend?_

Misaki turned his head to face the mangaka and in a voice so silent, it would almost pass as a whisper, he spoke.

"We b-broke up a long time ago sensei. For the exact same reason. I don't want to be touched like that ever. I wasn't ready that time or now, and you knew that."

It was easy to see Ijuinn's composure shatter by the slight twitch in his expression. His mask was proving to be ineffective against Misaki's words.

It was shocking to know they dated. Someone who was quiet, yet loving to everyone paired with a confident and flashy figure. It was obvious that Ijuinn tried to push Misaki into something he wasn't wanting which made him attack misaki, if this little scene was anything to go by.

"You say that, but the way your clinging to him says otherwise."

I only noticed then that I had my arms wrapped around Misaki's middle ad that he was holding onto the collar of my suit jacket. It seemed Misaki also failed to noticed how we were holding each other, but surprisingly he only grasped onto me more tightly and his his face into my chest, not wanting to discuss things with Ijuinn any further.

"Ijuinn...I think its time for you to leave. I know it would be bad for the both of us if I rejected your proposal to work here..." I felt Misaki tense again. He knew what I was about to say and I new fair well he wasn't going to like it. "...so I'll have Mi...myself organise a more suitable time."

There was no way I was letting him speak or even look at misaki again after this.

He smirked and with one more look at Misaki's head, he turned to walk out.

"I'll call you later about it. Thanks for your time."

With those final words… he left.

Misaki and I were still holding on to each other for a long time after he walked out, as if not wanting to let go…

Refusing to let go…

Not yet...

* * *

 **HELP PLEASE READ THIS! – okay, I need to ask what might be better for the next chapter...do you want me to write Misaki's point of view about everything that happened with Ijuinn, or do you want me to carry on with the story and make misaki just tell Usagi what happened and why it did? I need to ask cause I wont be able to carry on with the story unless I know what's best.**

 **Also, things get a little more heated soon. I have two more chapters to do and then the moment you have all been waiting for will arrive.**

 **Thank you for reading and, once again, so sorry about not uploading. x**


	12. Chapter 12

**Thank you for the suggestions on what I should do for this chapter, it really helped.**

 **I think I'm in a much better mood now to continue writing regularly so I think I'm gonna go back to once or twice a week (depending on how busy I am).**

 **I've been given some suggestions for other fan fics to write so I'm trying to power through now to make space for new stories but I'm not gonna finish this half-heartedly since I have a lot to cover for this fic and hopefully I can start making the chapters a little longer since I'm still not happy with how short they are.**

 **Hope you enjoy reading x**

* * *

Misaki POV (change in POV mid-chapter)

 _C'mon Misaki say something!_

After getting over the shock that happened with Ijuinn in the conference room, Usagi-san walked me back into our _shared_ office and was now currently applying disinfectant to the small cut on the palm of my left hand.

The silence between us could almost be considered deafening with my own racing thoughts blocking out all other sounds. I know Usagi would want an explanation after all this but I just don't know what to say to break this stillness.

"U-Usagi..."

"Misaki..."

Spoke at the same time. Shit.

We both awkwardly looked away before Usagi finally spoke up.

"Misaki, you don't have to tell me what that was all about...I would appreciate it if you did...but all I wanna know is why he suddenly attacked you."

I didn't want to remember what happened that time with Ijuinn. I know if I did confess, Usagi-san would understand and maybe help me out but it's something I'm too embarrassed to say out loud.

"I...I once...dated...him."

I saw Usagi visibly tense and I looked up to see an odd look on his perfectly sculpted face.

 _Was that jealousy?_

"Why did you both break up?"

And there it was. The question I was dreading the most.

I decided to divert my attention to the ice cold hands holding mine while they gently and attentively placed a plaster on the wound. They were so large in comparison to my small and thin fingers.

His fingers glided over the plaster so smoothly that I almost didn't feel a thing apart from that tingling feeling I got whenever he would pat me on the head or gently caress my cheek.

I just loved the feeling of his touch. It was electrifying yet it made me feel calm and content, made me feel warm yet his hands were so, so cold.

"Well...it's a long story actually but you don't have to worry about it. Its in the past."

I faked a laugh, trying to avoid the subject but Usagi was adamant in wanting to find out the truth between Ijuinn and myself.

I watched as the author made his way over to my desk and rolled my chair over to his own. He took a seat and looked at me with a silent order to sit beside him.

"I think we have time before my next meeting. Don't you, Mr. secretary?"

Well, looks like I'm not walking out of this one. I know Usagi-san's itinerary more then he does so of course I know there's time to kill before the next meeting. And he knows I know, damn it!

I was probably pouting since a small chuckle seeped through that smirking little mouth of his. Baka, he's just teasing me now.

Reluctantly, I walked up to the vacant chair and sat down, slightly turning the comfortable chair away from the grinning man beside me so I wouldn't have to look at his smug face the whole time.

It seemed like he was having none of it since he effortlessly turned my chair back around and pulled it towards himself with minimal effort. He pushed it in close and moved his legs to the side of the chair, bending slightly forward to rest his arms on my own armrests. His close contact making me lean back more to stare at his penetrating gaze.

I looked away as the memories of that night came flooding back. The night that Ijuinn's lust overrode his sense of reason.

"I..I never wanted to do it...I wasn't ready..." I paused to gulp down the lump that was slowly forming in my throat.

"Do what?" Usagi questioned.

I looked up at him and captured the small understating look he gave me in return. He knew what I didn't want to say.

"I refused him from time to time, telling him to wait until I felt more comfortable...until I ran into him… when I was walking home from my part time job at Marukawa."

I took a deep breath in and slowly let it out again, trying to calm myself down. I felt myself shaking and vaguely registered Usagi's hand rubbing my arm in a comforting motion.

"He was walking home and spotted me, asking me to come over. I noticed at the time that he was swaying a little. He obviously had been drinking…He questioned why I didn't want to sleep with him countless times that night and I replayed with the same answer every time he asked."

I could feel myself starting to cry and smiled as Usagi-san quickly wiped away the tears with his thumb.

"I wanted to leave...he wouldn't let me and...pushed me into his room...and, and on his bed he..."

I was struggling to speak. I couldn't speak. The memories were flooding in and I couldn't control my own breathing as those images suffocated me.

"Misaki, he was drunk...I know that's not an excuse for what he did but..."

"No..." I cut him off. "No, it wasn't. I understand what people are like when their like that. They act on impulse…but the second time...he was stone cold sober...and it was soo much worse than the first."

After letting everything out, I lost it and continued to cry. Usagi-san pulled me into his arms until I was sitting on his lap and crying into his shoulder. He started stroking the back of my head in comfort and just let me cry until the tears ran dry.

When they finally did, I extracted myself from his shoulder. Usagi-san looked hesitant to say something and started to speak up when I looked at him in question.

"Did..Did he get what he was after?"

"...Not really. His neighbour heard me screaming and shouting for him to stop and came over to help. The time he was drunk, he fell asleep before he could take my boxer shorts off."

Usagi-san let out a relieved sigh before his lips irked up in a smirk.

"So now I know the reason behind your 'prefer not to say' on your resume."

For a second, I had no idea what he was talking about until I vaguely remembered the sexuality question on my application form. It was scribbled so much with black ink that I had to squeeze in 'prefer not to say' in the corner to try and hide the fact that I liked men.

"Th-there's no protection in the workforce for gay people, but I didn't want to lie about it either!"

The author laughed at my answer. That deep rumbling sound forming in his chest was just too comforting and I found myself smiling at his uncontrollable chuckles.

He's trying to cheer me up.

"Then...if he was trying to make a move on you in the conference room...why was he choking you?"

My mind was brought back to the events that were held in the conference room earlier and, without thinking, I said the same thing I would say to everyone who walked in on us like that.

"Oh, I...wasn't looking him in the eyes so he was holding onto my neck and pushed my chin up with his thumb to make me look at him...that's all."

Usagi looked skeptical for a moment before he sighed and leaned down to rest his forehead against mine.

There was no way I was going to tell Usagi that he was also abusive at times. Knowing Usagi-san, he'd probably go out and kill the man.

"Well, thank you for telling me and I'm glad your safe now, misaki."

We stayed in that position for a couple more minutes.

It was nice.

The only sound resonating in the room was the steady breathing coming from the both of us while I looked on at Usagi's closed eyes. He seemed so peaceful with that small smile on his face, as if he was happy that I trusted him enough to share something so personal with him.

Suddenly I was struck with the desire to lean into him a little more and, after hearing a small gasp and feeling the man tense, did I realise my lips were gently pushing against his.

* * *

Usagi POV

 _Am I dreaming?_

Just as I was about to open my eyes and prepare for the meeting that was closely catching up with me, I felt the light pressure of Misaki's soft, plump lips on mine and gasped through my nose.

My mind was blank. I didn't know whether I wanted to shake him off in shock or deepen the subtle kiss that was leaving me breathless.

My mind was made up for me when misaki pulled himself away, as if in shock at his own actions and I was taken aback at his red cheeks and slightly moist lips. I wrapped my hand around his neck and pulled him back in for another breathtaking kiss but before our lips could meet once again, the door flew open, making us both jump in unison.

"Helloooo! Usami-sensei, I hope your ready for our mee-"

Aikawa burst through the door, most likely trying to make a grand entrance for herself. I watched as her eyes widened as she was staring at us and it suddenly registered that Misaki was straddling my lap with his hands on my shoulders while mine were wrapped around his waist and neck.

Suddenly, the loudest squeal was let loose from the editors mouth as she went into her usual 'fujoshi mode'.

misaki quickly extracted himself from my lap with a face that screamed 'what was I thinking?' and managed to avoid what would most likely be an uncomfortable situation by announcing that he was going on break.

I sighed in disappointment when watching misaki make a swift exit through the doors. His ears were red, hinting at his mortification of being caught in that position.

I turned back to a smirking Aikawa who shot me back with that knowing look of hers.

"Ugh...its times like this that I really regret having an editor..."

Aikawa's smirk grew at that and she pulled me up from my chair to drag me to our meeting.

"Well sensei, as much as I love seeing you _get along_ with your staff, these kinds of distractions are the reason your behind in your work!" the editor chided.

"Call misaki a distraction again and you'll never see my next instalment." I threatened.

Aikawa paused and turned around to look at me, all the grinning and happiness in her expression was replaced with a serious look.

"You do know that Misaki will be going back to Marukawa at the end of next month right? He wont Be here to distract you for long."

"...what?"

She rolled her eyes. "Its in his contract remember? He's here for training. But, you know, you are the CEO so...If you don't want him to go, and if he doesn't want to go, you can always write up another contract for him."

She was right about that. But, what if misaki didn't want to stay? Of course he would want the boy to stay with him but if Misaki himself wanted to leave then he'd have to let him.

If you love something, set it free.

"Aikawa, once again. How do you know more about my company than I do when you don't even work here?"

She smiled that annoyingly mischievous smile of hers. "Because I know everything!"

she laughed and continued to walk down the hall to the meeting room, dragging me by my sleeve.

* * *

It was about 5 hours later when the meeting finally came to an end. Dates and goals were set, yet I was still planning to miss that said deadline by a few days...or weeks.

It was already after 6 so misaki would be finished by now and would have went home already so there was no way I could ask him about what happened with that kiss.

It was on my mind the entire meeting. I just had to know what this meant for us but he ran away in embarrassment.

I could call him about it?

No, too impersonal..

Go visit him?

No, its impolite to show up like that.

As I was contemplating getting in touch with Misaki or not, I opened my office door too see him still sitting a his desk, typing vigorously.

It seemed like he didn't realise I was in the room as his eyes were focused on the screen alone, as if nothing else in the room mattered at that moment.

I walked quietly around him to see that he was writing an email on my behalf to schedule and re schedule certain meetings I had with important people.

I unconsciously leaned down, placing my hand on his shoulder to see what he was writing and accidentally woke him from his focused state.

"Ah, Usagi-san!"

Suddenly Misaki's face started to redden and he looked down in embarrassment, I chuckled at how cute he was.

"You seem busy. Did I disturb you?"

"Ah, no I was just finishing up."

He turned back to the screen to type up the last of the email and hit send. Afterwards he leaned back in his chair. I was struck with the urge to wrap my arms around him, but knowing Misaki's trauma with Ijuinn, I was slightly reluctant to do so.

"Misaki, you know its after hours for you. Your finished for the day, you should go rest."

It was true. Misaki worked hard all the time so it's good for him to go home and relax since he gave it his all every shift. You could see how tired he was but he never complained.

Its strange that he stayed back though, considering he could have easily typed those emails up at home if they were so important, so why didn't he?

 _Perhaps he wanted to see me before he left?_

"Usagi...i wanted to apologise before I left today. I shouldn't have k-kissed you without asking..."

I laughed a little before I leaned down and whispered in his ear.

"Don't apologise misaki, you can do that any time you want, if I can do the same in return?"

There was uncertainty in the boys eyes. You could see it as clear as day.

He turned his head towards me but kept his eyes firmly on the floor beneath us as he spoke.

"I...I just don't want a repeat of what happened. I'm scared the same thing will happen with you too usag-"

"Misaki, look at me..." I cut him off before he finally met my gaze.

"...I am not Ijuinn. I wont lay my hands on you if you don't want me to."

"You...you did before. When you were drunk."

I immediately felt terrible for that night. I probably brought up horrible memories on the day I pinned in down and forced myself on him.

Misaki must have caught my look of guilt since he automatically tried to reassure me.

"Ah, but you haven't had any alcohol for weeks now. Your doing well without it!"

"it's because your intoxicating enough misaki, and I want to remember every second with you without that intoxicated haze floating in my head."

Misaki's breath caught and I moved down so I was just inches away from those plump lips.

"Misaki, please. I would never hurt you like he did. You have my word."

"But...what about Sumi-san..."

Ugh, out of all the people I didn't want to think about at the moment. or ever in that matter, did it have to be him…

"I don't know what you've heard but I do not associate with the vile man. He tried to take advantage of me while I was under the influence of alcohol just like every other secretary I've ever had. They use me, hoping I would make them my lover so they would rise to a higher position. But you, Misaki, you don't care at all about my net worth nor the fact that I'm highly influential and powerful. Your even helping me with my addiction."

"So.. your not dating him?"

I held back a groan.

"No, I'm not dating that nuisance."

Misaki smiled sweetly then nodded. He stood up and walked over to the large panel windows behind my desk and looked far outside into the busy streets. The sun was setting around Tokyo, causing a bright halo to form around Misaki's brown locks and he glowed in the natural light.

Its so nice. I wonder what its like in the dark, when the streets light up as the sky goes black."

It was a beautiful sight to see. I remember, in the cold winter nights when I sat at my desk, I would look out the window for hours just looking at it. It was perfect.

I started to walk up to misaki, cupping his had that was pressed against the glass with my own. He spread his fingers apart, letting mine slip in between the cracks.

"We could stay here you know? Till the sun goes down and just watch the city light up beneath us. But I'm warning you, you might not want to tear your gaze away after you see it."

Misaki sifted a little and hesitantly leaned back into my chest.

"I wouldn't mind staying like this for a while..."

I smiled at his words and moved my hand around his neck, slightly pushing his jaw in my direction to give him an awkward, slanted kiss.

Misaki shuffled until he turned to face me and I deepened the kiss, pushing him back into the glass and caging him in.

I felt his arms slowly and hesitantly rise up to curl around by back.

Once again, I was left breathless at the soft, sweet kiss shared with this man. It wasn't demanding or lewd. It was just sweet, or was it the taste of Misaki that made the kiss sweet. Either way, Misaki's lips were better than anything I've ever felt before.

Misaki parted his lips slightly and I dared to slip my tongue in for a better taste. He tensed a little, obviously scared to go so far, but he slowly opened his mouth to let me in and it was just as expected.

Sweet.

And soft.

By the time we parted, the office was filled with only the light coming from Misaki's monitor and the now lit street lights.

I urged misaki to look at the scene below and was filled with a warm feeling at seeing his face. Eyes and mouth wide open, amazed by the view out there. It was a sight to see.

"There's so many colours!" The secretary exclaimed.

"Indeed."

I don't think I've ever felt this happy, this content with another person before. Unfortunately, this night would end the minute we parted.

"Stay the night at my place?"

Misaki turned to look at me with slight shock at my proposal. He went quiet for a while then looked up to me with a small, cute smile.

"Okay."

I smiled back at him and gave him a small peck on his forehead.

"C'mon, lets go."

* * *

 **...Opinions? Id love to know what you all thought of this chapter. I worked so hard on it so it'd be good to know if it was all worth it in the end!**

 **This is when the story begins to progress but, be warned, the happy bubbly period will come to bump in the road in the next chapter.**

 **Thank you for reading and for taking your time to help me out on what I should do for this chapter!**

 **I can now finally sleep :')**


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